College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
please don't ironically join a cult
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