We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
