Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
