so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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