Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
