I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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