I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
