Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
