I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
