Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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