I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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