What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
