Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
