Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
someone owes me an orgasm
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
