Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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