if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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