She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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