I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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