I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
