ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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