I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You were trust falling into bushes
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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