I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
