well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Randomize
