i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
