My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
