No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
