No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
