Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
