i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
