I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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