our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
