Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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