he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
