Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
