All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
