Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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