I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize