I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
