Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
