We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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