just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
