eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
