do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
