he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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