used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
