Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
