I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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