The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
