My pussy is not your playground.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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