I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
